Our family monk is coming tomorrow to do "first obon service" for my late bro tommorow. So we were leaving home late this morning to prepare for it at his house (where no one resides now), buying the flowers and offerings (fruits and snacks) and setting them on the altar. Wow, I couldn't find the KEY!!! I've been looking for all over the place I could think of. Hubby was ready in the car and I had to tell him. I found it the place where it shouldn't have been about 20 nimutes later.
I think I wasn't myself a bit;
For my late bro, relatives have been kindly paying vists for him separately. This Sunday, my father's sister-in-law came with her daughter (our cousin). They were also SO generous to pay us a visit for him. We decided not inviting anyone for tomorrow's service, as they ought to come to visit us for the "first year service" this fall. Yet, they are so kind for us.
Well, the trouble for these separate visit is; I have to reset the altar each time. The busy days and thinking about father (who is suffering dementia and not knowing the situation) and how I should sort things out in his house later must have made mind cluttered. And I somehow started to cry before him after he got a bit cranky. He looked puzzled with my sudden change of mantel state, poor him. It took me for a while to get calm mind back and set out. Anyway, I thank hubby's understanding.(wrote in haste after came home, hope this post sends the meaning)
ps. I will catch up commenting for my friends' posts some time later. SO SORRY if I look not faithful......
I think I wasn't myself a bit;
For my late bro, relatives have been kindly paying vists for him separately. This Sunday, my father's sister-in-law came with her daughter (our cousin). They were also SO generous to pay us a visit for him. We decided not inviting anyone for tomorrow's service, as they ought to come to visit us for the "first year service" this fall. Yet, they are so kind for us.
Well, the trouble for these separate visit is; I have to reset the altar each time. The busy days and thinking about father (who is suffering dementia and not knowing the situation) and how I should sort things out in his house later must have made mind cluttered. And I somehow started to cry before him after he got a bit cranky. He looked puzzled with my sudden change of mantel state, poor him. It took me for a while to get calm mind back and set out. Anyway, I thank hubby's understanding.(wrote in haste after came home, hope this post sends the meaning)
ps. I will catch up commenting for my friends' posts some time later. SO SORRY if I look not faithful......
Orchid, I understand how overwhelmed you must feel. Especially with your father. Your husband understands this, I am sure. Thinking of you and sending hugs xo
ReplyDeleteThis is a stressful time for you with everything that is happening. You have had too much weighing on you and tears are a natual release. I'm sure you hubby understands. Don't worry about trying to keep up with commenting on posts, you have other things going on that need your energies. Take care sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteOh Orchid, sorry for all the trouble you have. I'm sure your hubby understands all and will be there for you through all this.
ReplyDeleteTake care and get some rest.
hugs
Oh Orchid, I'm sorry that you are going through such emotional stress. But it is a wonderful thing that you are remembering your dear brother and that family is by your side. I'm so glad you have such an understanding husband too.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about the blog, just take care of yourself. Sending you lots of hugs across the miles. xxxxx
Miyako, you are such a dear and loving soul to be doing all you are for your brother's memory and caring for your father. It would not be human if you didn't sometimes have tears and lapses of memory during your sadness.
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking of you and sending you love and soft breezes to comfort you...
Hugs
Miyako, it's understandable to have some tears every now and then. I'm sure your hubby completely understands. How nice of you to keep the altar for your brother and to care for your father.
ReplyDeletetake care of youself, too, my friend.
Orchid dealing with everything you have to do at this time would be stressful and you are allowed to have a few tears, it is sad that your father doesn't know what is going on but at the same time it is a blessing as the pain of lossing a child would be so great......I do not know anything aboutyour culture and would love to know more about "first obon service".
ReplyDeleteMiyaki, my dear friend, you have so much on your mind at the moment, what with your dear father and sorting everything out at your brother's house and keeping the alter looking good. I can quite understand how the tears came. It is a very emotional time, and I do hope that your hubby understood. You are always faithful in your comments my dear friend. We all quite understand that you have other things to deal with at the moment. I'm sorry that I'm late in commenting. I had a day out yesterday and, when I do that, I get so behind with my blogging. It can be quite a worry sometimes!! Hugs from here in England to my lovely Japanese friend!
ReplyDeleteSorry, that should have read Miyako! DOH!
ReplyDeleteDearest Orchid,
ReplyDeletePoor you... those days are so emotional and you felt like standing all alone with this. Your brother and having a Father who's of no support or understanding anymore. But tears are part of life too; it's one of several emotions that we show from time to time.
Hope you've settled down to calmer days by now. Love to you,
Mariette